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samanthaxnicole
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Name: Samantha
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: St. Louis
Birthday: 4/6/1991
Gender: Female
Interests:
tony
sarah
buhrie
kelsums
nick
cameron
gabbie
ben
david
sam
casie
zaq
momiji
beccar
christie
steve
autumn
kidder
john
JEDT
kaylee
aj
grant
chase
nicki
Expertise: Gerard Arthur Way
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  TeenageLoveDecay
Member Since:
10/9/2005
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| Wow, I don't even know how to use this foreign object anymore. Lord knows what drove me to it.
Actually, Lord may not know, but I do.
I was thinking about friends today. The ones I've got, the ones I tolerate, the ones I miss. Most frequently in life I find myself missing the people that were originally there for me. I know I talk about Noelle, Nick, and Katie a lot in various internet places. Maybe that gets old, but it's still necessary. They were a huge part of my life and because I was 14 and caught up in a bunch of stupid stuff, I let them go.
I was a really awful person.
And then I tried to cover my ass. I tried to make it look like I didn't miss Noelle because she was the best friend I ever had and I didn't want to admit how wrong I was for what I did. That was stupid. This was all stupid and had I been the good friend that I should of, this would have never happened.
Maybe one day, I can weasel my way into their lives again. That would be nothing short of sublime. | | |
| So I went back and read a few xanga entries from back in the day. How pathetic was I?
Very. That's how much. I'm glad I'm over that. Not being pathetic because I still am that a little bit, but the trendy-wanna-be-bull-shit phase I was in.
It's nice to see that part pass. I should have kept up with this instead of spreading out my life over the internet. But things happen. I think it's important that anyone reading this knows that I now fully realize how much dick From First to Last sucks. I apologize if I ever, ever mentioned them. I can't believe the crap I used to love. Jason Mraz and the Dispatch. That's what my musical life is all about. | | |
| Hey Xanga! Remember me? I bet you don't, but that's alright really. It seems as though not many people remember tired old xanga. So, I found a different place to write in when I'm sad or feel the need to build upon myself. The consequences to that are this little thing rarely gets used. However, in case you still read this, Noelle, Nick, Sarah, and Kelsey should know how much I miss them. the end! | | |
| i'm not 100% positive I can accomplish my goals. Every time I scroll around the internet and find another of those short, thin, pretty girls my life seems to be infested with I find myself recoiling from who I am more and more. But I will work past it. And tomorrow morning, I am going to go in my basement and exert some form of physical activity. I've decided loving myself doesn't half to be based off of my current appearance. Because the truth of the matter is I'm not happy with my weight. I'm slightly overweight for my height and above all, I don't feel healthy. So in order to achieve loving myself, I'm going to have to get healthy. I'm not looking to become anorexic or bulimic. Those would be counter-productive to the overall goal. I just want to be healthy and happy. | | |
| i am going on a quest. a quest to learn how to love myself.
because in all truthful honesty, i want to learn how to like who i am. i am documenting this experience here. step one was supposed to be enacted today but, the snow and ice but a damper on things a bit. i am posting this here in hopes that other people who feel like I do can read what I will go through and maybe one day, do the same. I don't know exactly what I will be doing, but I'm going to try my very hardest. Above all, I won't stop till I succede. | | |
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